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Thursday, April 06, 2006

Scared.....

Wow, reading other peoples blogs is usually very informative but this morning it has really scared me. I know what will happen "will happen" but getting there seems like a very scary roller coaster.....and I get motion sick. These wait times are unnerving for those of us watching- I can't imagine how it feels to be the one waiting. My husband and I originally were planning on applying to our agency April 1st......We were in the process of applying for loans and getting all of the application paperwork together. (Backstory......as of Feb. of this year a LONG 4 year journey of getting out of debt finally ended. ) I got nervous about getting back in- even though this was a good, no great, reason to "owe" -it just didn't feel right to me to bring this little precious girl home to debt. It also did not feel good to create more debt knowing we have two young boys home......we need to begin saving for their future and the future of our daughter.......Other issues that brought me/and eventually us/ to this decision were: my sister is getting married and that is always a HUGE expense (we do not live near where the wedding is so travel is a must....gift....dresses.....tuxes.....bridal shower etc.) My oldest son is starting Kindergarten and I want to be focused on that. We also just moved- my youngest son is just starting to sleep through the night due to the move and to be honest until yesterday I had no idea where the post office was!
Knowing all of these things makes our decision to wait to begin the adoption (until we have the necessary funds (Jan 1, 2007), our sons are settled, blah blah blah...) sound like the right thing to do......However, I find myself second guessing this decision. What if the wait times get longer, what if.....what if......and as my husband reminds me....for every "what if" I come up with that is negative you can turn it around to be positive......the decision is right, I know (during my sane moments) that it is......but now I fear I'll have to wait twice-

2 Comments:

At 10:59 AM, Blogger Stacey Teague said...

Well, I know that for us...our social worker told us, if you keep waiting until you can "afford" it, it won't happen (not saying it won't happen for you, it will). There is no time like the present, friend. Keep in mind, too that you end up spending about 1/2 near the front of the chase, spent over a few months, then the other 1/2 not until the end of the journey for travel. (and don't forget the tax credit!!)

 
At 3:54 PM, Blogger Aimee said...

During our wait, my husband changed jobs, we went from self employed to working "for the man", sold our house during Thanksgiving and moved into a new one 4 days before Christmas. 15 days after that we got our referral and about 40 days after that we left for China. There is no perfect time. I now have 2 kids under 3 and couldn't be happier. Go for it!

 

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